2018 Reloaded

Can I be honest? I have no idea where the past two months have gone. Christmas was quiet but so wonderful for us. We celebrated New Years in Fairmont with my family which was also quiet but so nice mainly because it was my first trip out of the city in a year and since I had Bastian! I didn’t realize how cooped up I’ve been since I had him, but he is still hit or miss in the car (screaming his head off…so help me), so I don’t really feel the pull to go anywhere with him in the near future. But I lied because the weekend after Fairmont, we had to take Nolan to Vancouver for a football practice for Team BC, a select football team he tried out for on December 9. You got to love Nolan. He wanted to try out for this U18 team to measure himself up with other players, he said he wouldn’t make the team then guess what? At the tryout they tell him that he made the team and they fly to Dallas on January 15th to play in AT&T Stadium where scouts will be watching. Good luck shutting that one down…we tried! So we took him to practices two weekends in a row. In the middle of that, January 11 to be exact, Wylder, turned 2! How is that boy 2 already! We celebrated him with a trendy donut party, it was so great.

Nolan thrived in Dallas. I honestly believe, given the opportunity, he never would’ve come home. The kid always loved summer camp, and what’s better than summer camp? Football camp! A week of football, all of which your teammates are just as passionate as you are about the sport, your coaches are A+, the head coach is a CFL Great to boot, and then you get to play in an NFL stadium. Duh. He did not want it to end. He will be going back there, only next time for Team Canada. His team got beat pretty badly by Team USA, but Nolan himself, played a great game and was approached by a Canadian college afterwards which now makes that two colleges watching him. He plans to do a few flag football tournaments in Seattle in March where he will continue to get more exposure. I could not be more proud of this boy! My eyes are welling up with tears as I type this. This boy is special, he’s incredibly talented and maybe one day I’ll share even more on that, but for now, I’ll leave it here. While he was in Dallas, he also turned 16! How?! And now we have a child learning to drive. He passed his learners test this week. So many exciting things for this kid! It’s been so incredible to watch Nolan grow up. It used to scare me, the idea of him not being little anymore but now I’m just so excited for what lies ahead of him. He works hard and I believe he will see big rewards.

Oh me? Ya I’m good. Still tired but I’m really good at being exhausted and still getting life done. That makes sense… I wouldn’t say I’ve mastered the not showering thing, but I’m pretty close. Definitely mastering the no shaving… TMI?! Sorry. But let’s face it. My child free hours are so limited. I’m never guaranteed naptime, but a good day gives me 2 hours to myself where I need to squeeze in a workout (#beachbod) and if I have to shower that day (emphasis on HAVE TO), that’s a wrap for naptime, and adding shaving to the equation takes away from my hair blow dry time…if I decide my hair needs a wash. It’s complicated.

Tom is still beasting out at work. He’s busy and busy is good. It’s also still travel season. Basically he just doesn’t travel if I have a baby, or in the summers he’s usually more local. So I’m still waiting to hear if he’s going to Africa in 10 days. No, not joking and he’s likely reading this so he should decide if he’s going or not… Sorry to put you, my reader, in an awkward position… Africa will be the first BIG trip of the year. I’m working very hard on making myself a priority and pouring a little more into myself. It’s my New Years resolution. I just really want to be the best wife/mother/friend I can be, and I can’t be my best unless I take care of myself. Simple yet so complex…

Can you believe I almost forgot about Bastian?! He is 8 months old now. Sort of shimmying, not crawling but moving around. He is getting to be so much fun. He loves his family so much! Wylder makes him laugh more than anyone. He is just getting so cute, I can hardly handle it. His little fat face is my favourite! We are also FINALLY sleeping through the night! Hallelujah!


I know I always say it but I plan to blog more because I love it. It makes me happy. I just lack the energy and inspiration on most days. I am however cooking amazing meals, paleo yes, we are back on track(ish) but if you’d like, I will share!

Happy New Year friends! I’m really excited to see what 2018 holds for us. I feel like it’s going to be our year!


I joined a bible study this fall. If I’m being honest, I had no idea what exactly I was committing myself to, but I’m now 7 weeks into the 8 month program and it has been so rewarding, especially in my family life. As most of you might know, this season of life has been so busy and incredibly overwhelming for me. Tom has been traveling a ridiculous amount for work, and when he is home he is still working 10 hours a day. Nolan just wrapped up playing football on both the junior and senior varsity football teams, and in case you don’t follow me on instagram…we have two babies under 2! I obsessively post pictures of them so maybe you’ve unfollowed me due to the baby spamming… I’m holding down the fort, trying to keep my head above water. I have some amazing days and some terrible days. It’s definitely challenging but I’m doing it.

Part of why I joined my bible study was to be able to have one morning a week where the babies would go to daycare and I would have a break and also be able to do something for myself. Guys, it has blown my mind! Every week I go and I just feel so encouraged and I’m learning so much about myself and maybe even finding myself again.

Last week the topic was Values and Ideals. This is something that has been on my heart for a long time now but I never really put too much thought into what exactly I do value or the things I thought I valued but don’t actually live out which makes them my ideals. A value is a deeply held belief that possesses the worth to influence decisions made and actions taken. They are the convictions that travel with us through life’s challenges and opportunities. They are matters of the heart that result in commitments. Actual values will dictate behaviour. Ideals are the values we desire to hold, but don’t actually practice.

The discussion with this amazing group of women I get the pleasure of meeting with weekly was so encouraging and uplifting. We went around and shared our top 5 values and it was so beautiful. I was so inspired by it that I decided I would bring it home. That night after we put the babies to bed I asked Tom and Nolan to come to the table. With only minimal resistance, I was able to convince them to participate in my activity. We wrote down our top values and ideals and then shared them openly. Wow! I couldn’t believe how beautiful this exercise was and I immediately had to stop myself from disrupting the beautiful moment to declare how genius my idea was! Then I asked them to write down what values we see in each other and we shared them as well. This opened up an intentional, uplifting conversation that was so raw and real. How many times have I thought about these amazing qualities and beautiful characteristics these guys possess and I’ve never said it out loud to them and vice versa. What happened next was my teenager, who on most days says 5 words total to me, he opened up and just started talking to us. I love hearing his heart and his intentions. I knew it was going to be good but I never anticipated how good!! It was hands down the most amazing family building moment we have ever had. We will definitely revisit this in a year or so. Talk about rewarding! All three of us are on a journey of personal growth on all different levels. I am constantly encouraged and inspired by both Tom and Nolan. I do think that is partly why I haven’t had a mental breakdown of some sort…

One big reason this was important for me to do with the boys is because I so desire to have strong, healthy, life long relationships in my family. You see I value honesty, open communication, and love without boundaries or conditions. Growing up I saw many broken relationships within my immediate family as well as extended family and beyond that with friends. I want Nolan to always feel close to Tom and I and to actually want to come home and visit us once he ventures off to college!

I highly encourage everyone to do this with your children one day when they are teenagers. It would also be pretty great to do with your spouse. You can even do it on your own and maybe get to know yourself a little better! I promise you won’t be disappointed with the results and it might actually reveal some things about yourself you weren’t even aware of.

Some sample values for you to work off of:








Good reputation











Hard work









Leisure time



Passion peace

Physical health






Self esteem

Sense of fairness



Sense of humour

Time with family




And a current picture of the babies who are so freaking cute for at least one moment every single day!! And Nolan, doing what he loves and kicking serious butt these days in the football world (one day I might share all the amazing things he has going on…he is the best)!

It’s only just begun.

Ok, this is hard. I’m sure most people around me would assume I’m a seasoned vet with my husband traveling for work but I’m not. It never gets easier and guess what? Now I have two babies under the age of two and a teenager (aka literally living out phases of life on polar sides of the growing up spectrum) and it’s hard and mentally draining. This is the start of one long freaking month of show after show for Tom to travel internationally for. So far the first big trip, well, so far I’m surviving. I’m so tired, like more appropriately described as unbelievably exhausted. I did however manage to get Bash sleeping through the night which is one victory point! Tom left on a Saturday for Ottawa then continued down to Columbia on Tuesday and was supposed to be back home the following Sunday morning allowing us to still have a day and a half day of family time given the long thanksgiving weekend. Naturally, as life would have it, he got punked by an aircraft controller strike so he couldn’t fly home when planned and as I write this, the plan is now to get home on the holiday Monday but we just don’t know yet if that will work with this whole strike throwing a wrench in things. So now the thing is, we are just waiting to hopefully have things work out and even then we only get a half day with Tom, then he will work all week and we will have next Saturday as a family then he is off again for the week to Spain.

Did I mention how tired I am?

The babies are good and Nolan is good, but I’m just so tired because I never get a break and having your husband traveling internationally is stressful. As I checked out the strike online today it comes up as a travel advisory for Columbia due to high risk of kidnapping and violent crime… On this thanksgiving weekend I am just so thankful I read this at the end of his trip and not the beginning.

Pause. Look at Bash and his new smile. It’s too much…

Un-pause — I stop and tell myself it is a season. Unfortunately it’s intense on both ends (our personal life raising big and little kids as well as work life for Tom). It will pass and we will look back on it likely proud of what we have gone through together as a family as we look from the other side. But today, it’s not easy. I have my books I’m trying to read. I’m very social throughout the week. I have wonderful people checking in on me and offering to come for wine or tea or meet me at a park or for a walk and please do! I absolutely love these gestures. My house is pretty clean all things considered. I have my wine and chocolate for emergencies…kidding, the chocolate is for always everyday (full disclosure, no shame). If you have any further tips for me on how to survive living with a travelling husband, I am extremely interested and open to most ideas, just keep in mind that I’m very tired so don’t make me work too hard!

If I could go back in time, I never would’ve agreed to giving up our Maui vacation this Christmas. To date, it’s my only regret! Still winning I think…

Happy thanksgiving friends. The jury is still out whether I’ll cook a thanksgiving meal or not. We will know by tomorrow!

Zucchini Chocolate Chip Muffins [Vegan]

It’s officially begun. Our dreaded October of relentless work travel for Tom. Neither of us were looking forward to it and since its overwhelming to think about all of his upcoming trips, we decided to just take it one trip at a time. I’ve never been alone this long with the two babies. We are officially half way through his first trip and I was doing good until today. The babies have been great until today. Lots of crying. Apparently neither wants to give me the precious hour of silence I can generally bank on during their afternoon nap as they both protest from their cribs and for some reason I’m finding myself fighting back the tears today. I need to shower, I’d be smart to chop some veggies in any spare time I can find, I could do laundry, organize my closet or maybe organize my life, but I’m tired and just sitting here hoping there’s babies doze off eventually in their cribs so I can have a breather and think about having that shower or just fantasize about not being tired!

My goal was to stay as positive as possible while I’m on my own. I’ve filled my days with activities and friends and it’s been great. Time is moving along but it’s just tiring being on all day long. By the time I get everyone to bed, I’m pretty done myself and don’t get to take advantage of my free time as much as I wish I did. These babies are so unpredictable. Things can be going so amazingly smooth, then in the early evening for example, out of nowhere I have two baby boys both wanting to be held as they cry on and off for an hour while I’m in the middle of trying to make dinner, then Wylder doesn’t feel like eating what I made and he throws rice all over the floor while I’m trying to feed myself and Bash is crying in my arms so I try to breastfeed him and ignore the rice thrown all over my dining room all while I’m trying to feed myself with my left hand. So I give Wylder an apple sauce pouch so he doesn’t go to bed hungry, clean him up and set him up with a show, meanwhile Bash is inconsolable because he’s now overtired and needs to go to bed. Not every evening is this much fun, but it’s the nights like this that leaves me wondering how I’m going to still be standing after a long month of Tom being away. It’s not easy, so I’ll just continue to take it one day at a time and pray for extra energy, sleep and happy kids. Oh and I have wine in case of emergencies!

Regardless of the insanity, I’ve had some rare shining moments of being a wonderful mother and housewife. I cook a healthy dinner every night. I’ve managed to keep my house relatively clean, with the exception of laundry folding (reminder: start folding the laundry)! I somehow get to where I need to be on time and I haven’t forgotten one appointment since I had Bash. I’ve also been trying to bake more good snacks for Wylder so I don’t feel guilty feeding him so many store bought snacks.

These mini muffins are a new favourite around here. When I’m overly ambitious I will make a mass batch and freeze them, otherwise I just do a single batch and if Tom and Nolan are home, they last only a few days so sometimes I hide them to help them go further! I highly recommend these for lunches, snacks, breakfast, or dessert… Enjoy!

Zucchini Chocolate Chip Muffins [Vegan]


  • 1 1/2 cups spelt or all-purpose or Bob’s gf flour
  • 1/2 tsp baking soda
  • 3/4 tsp salt
  • 1/2 tsp cinnamon
  • 1/3 cup coconut sugar
  • 1/2 cup enjoy life mini chocolate chips
  • 1/2 cup applesauce (120g)
  • 1/3 cup coconut or avocado oil
  • 1 tsp white or apple cider vinegar
  • 1 1/2 tsp pure vanilla extract
  • 1 cup grated zucchini


Preheat oven to 350F and grease a mini muffin tin. Combine all dry ingredients in a mixing bowl, then set aside. In a large measuring cup, combine all liquid ingredients (including zucchini). Mix wet into dry, and immediately portion into the muffin tin and place in the oven. Bake 13-15 minutes, then allow the muffins to cool before removing from the tray.

Life = Cray

Ok I lied. The 3 month mark with Bash wasn’t as magical as I thought. We are well past the 4 month mark and he is still crying, no actually wailing in the car about 75% of our car rides, he is not sleeping through the night as he is reluctant to sleep training, but that baby is something else. He is my super snuggler, my mamas boy, all I have to do is look at him and he has the biggest and sweetest smiles for me, so cute I melt into mush. We will just tough it out since I’m too tired to try to fix anything at the moment.

We are back to school for Nolan and holy cow…I am a mother of a grade 10 boy. I was so emotional with the start of this year. I swear a slide show keeps playing in my mind of all of my years raising this boy. He has been such a special gift in my life and as I watch him become a man and set these crazy big goals and actually commit and write out a game plan to meet them, I honestly can’t believe I’ve raised this kid. If you don’t know, Nolan is working his buns off for a college scholarship for football. He has had the dream since he was 7, but now that he’s getting closer, he is putting in so much work to achieve this goal and it is honestly incredible to watch. I won’t go into the details but he is making me proud and I’m so excited to see where he goes. To date, he has one college looking at him already and he is only in grade 10!! FYI, I love this kid so much!

Wylder is becoming so much fun. He babbles and we have no idea what he’s saying. He likes to tell off Nolan when Nolan is bugging him and it cracks me up! He loves his baby Bash so much, he needs to start the day with a hug and after every nap, Bash gets a hug! These babies sure make my heart full and also drain every ounce of my being all in the same day. Thankfully everything is just a season but knowing that makes me sad because as crazy as life is and as tired as I am, I know I’ll miss these baby days so much when they are gone.

I’m doing ok. I’m making it through each day. I make healthy dinners almost every day except Saturdays. I don’t have time to shower often or work out and fitting in hang outs is so hard because all of us moms are on different nap schedules but I’m trying. I’ve been working at building my village which seems impossible if I’m being honest. I feel like I’m in a season of life where I need the village more than ever and everyone I know is just so busy with their lives it’s hard to truly connect and know how to meet each other’s needs or just be a friend.

My anxiety has been at an all time high lately as I’m anticipating one of Tom’s busiest work months ever. October, how I loathe thee… He is going to be gone 20 days out or 31. Ugh. Why? Don’t go… I’m not exactly sure how I’ll make it out alive in one piece. He will be going to Ottawa, straight down to Columbia on trip one, trip two is Spain, trip three is Mexico. I’m in two worlds…the baby world which is crazy and hard and sleepless and demanding until 7pm, and the teenager world which is emotionally draining, where I’m trying to be there for my oldest who holds such a special different place in my heart than the babies. Plus I know I only have 3 years with him and then he is going to be chomping at the bit to take on the world which excites me, but also scares the crap out of me. So I’m trying to set myself up for success in October. I’m going to meal plan which I’m doing already. I’m going to try to connect with friends because I need my people more than ever. I’m already exploring baby/toddler activities during the day to help the days pass. I’m going to make a list of things I want to accomplish around the house. I will also very likely drink wine. You might too if you have to juggle all of this on your own each day…

Life is crazy. I feel like I can’t even put it into words how crazy it is. My anxiety is already in high gear and I hate it so much and maybe I should take a page from Nolan’s book and make a goal to deal with it so I don’t have a melt down sans husband! It’s also really wonderful but I can’t help but crave a holiday or fantasize about having a life and fun with anyone really. This is a season and it’s not going to be pretty but if you think of me in October…send me your prayers and love and wine and chocolate and flowers…or one of the above. Please and thank you. And I love you.

Side note: My babies are cute right? Or do I have the ‘mom goggles’ on? Don’t answer that.

I’m Surviving!

I’ve finally surrendered to the chaos that is my life.  I mean, I spend my days with a toddler and an infant.  I’m tired 1000% of the time.  Some days are good and some are long and I feel like I’m being drained of all the life inside of me.  But then bedtime arrives and I feel super proud that I did it, I survived another day.  I wish I could say I was exaggerating how tough it’s been these past three months but if anything I’ve been downplaying the struggle of my life these days.  I know I look like I’m rocking it [and in some ways I am],  but I’m trying harder than ever to have be a good mom to the babies and a good mom to a teenager,  which is a heck of a lot different than dealing with babies.  I want to be a good/nice wife, and also still have friends.  I’m trying to figure out how to find the time to exercise.  Work is always knocking at my door which is another struggle because there are only so many hours in a day and most of those hours, somebody needs me or pardon me, I’m exhausted.  There is so much on my plate and I haven’t even talked about how busy Tom has been with work or touched on Nolan’s very full schedule.  Life is crazy right now, but we are somehow making it work.  

Bastian is just over 3 months!  I’m so happy to be here.  The newborn stage was freaking hard!  I can honestly say that I don’t miss it. It’s hard and messy and I cried so many times while we were in it.  It’s not like it’s significantly easier or better now but every week Bash gets a little more settled and cool and we find our groove a little more.  He cries less in the car, he sleeps better at night, making dinner isn’t a total gong show.  I’m slowly [incredibly slowly] getting things done.  I’m more brave and less afraid of him losing his mind when I go places. But the struggle is still there…mainly, I never have enough hours in a day.  

Tom started traveling again for work.  I was lucky he stuck around as long as he did since we’ve had Bastian. Unfortunately the fall is quite booked up for him with travel but I’m going to find a way to make it work [aka: avoid insanity].  Sometimes I try to take myself back to when I was a single mom.  I raised Nolan on my own, no child support or shared evenings or weekends for 9 years before Tom and I got married.  I was self employed and working 6 days a week, doing all the driving to and from sports. I owned a house and did all the housework and yard work.  Guess what?  I even had an amazing social life!  I am now married, work very very little, but somehow juggling these two babies and a teenager is soooo much more work than I ever remember when I was on my own.  Or maybe I’m just old now!  Ha!  Yup.  That’s got to be it!

Amongst all of the chaos, sleeplessness, and the days where I feel like I’m completely lost…there is so much light.  I will never ever forget the 4 years of infertility prior to having Wylder, longing for what I now have.  I can never forget all of the tears I cried for these babies and even though it’s easy to take the gifts in my life for granted when everyone is crying at the same time or not sleeping or demanding to be held 24/7, I wouldn’t change a thing.  Ok…maybe less crying, but every one of my boys came into my life as a blessing in their own way and they’ve all managed to fill my heart more than I ever thought possible.  Tom and I are so lucky to have these perfect boys around us. And now that Tom’s back to travelling, I love knowing that we have giant Nolan to protect us (‘watch your backs you raccoons and marmots!!’ – we have both likely living in our backyard…so help me). 

Ok I’d also change just having Tom not travel ever and maybe I could have a nanny and a maybe a Ferrari?  Or like just a break every now and then.  I’d also like to have time to blow dry my hair after I wash it and potentially wash it more than I do (it’s not necessary to disclose how many times I do or do not wash my hair). It’d be cool to have time to work out. Or even sleep a whole night…we are so close yet so far…  

Life is completely chaotic in every way.  I’m holding it together like a boss, at least I think I am anyway.  I cry on occasion and I’m not ashamed to admit it.  But it’s good.  We are creating memories and for example, as much as I know I might regret going to Nolan’s football games this fall with two babies all alone, I’m going to do it because it might be ok and I love watching Nolan do what he loves and no two babies are going to take that from me (unless they are both out of control crying or Wylder is trying to run onto the football field…both very probable scenarios).  I’ll just obviously take a quick picture to post on my Instagram pretending it was a total success regardless of the fail…  But honestly, life is good.  We are living the dream and surviving this crazy season one day at a time!

Avocado Salad

And now it’s time for me to share some of my favourite recipes I’ve been cooking up!  I’m coming back!  Unless I’m interrupted by one or more of my handsome men.  

This salad is my favourite thing to make right now.  I just took a little breather from it because I’d hate for Tom and Nolan to dread eating it every night.  It makes for such a good summer lunch that I like to hoard for myself then I allow Nolan to eat the rest as a snack.  Or lately it’s been such a great side to a perfectly bbq’ed chunk of meat and grilled veggies!  

I promise it’s so good that I’m salivating as I share it with you.  I like to go heavy on the tomatoes which is going to be even more wonderful now that my tomato plants are ready!  This salad is guaranteed to please your taste buds!  

Avocado Salad

  • 1/4 c. avocado oil or extra-virgin olive oil
  • Juice of 1 lime
  • 1/4 tsp. cumin
  • kosher salt
  • Freshly ground black pepper
  • 1 pint cherry tomatoes, halved
  • 1/2 c. black beans, drained and rinsed
  • 1/2 c. corn
  • 1/2 medium red onion, finely chopped
  • 1/2 jalapeno, minced (optional)
  • 2 ripe avocados, cubed


Mix oil, lime juice, cumin, salt and pepper in medium size bowl. 

Add remaining ingredients to bowl.  Toss to fully coat salad with the dressing.  Serve immediately or chill in the fridge until your ready to eat.