Life Updated 

Has it really been 5 weeks since I last posted?  Hmmm…  I guess I’ve just been super busy trying to raise these babies all while Nolan had a whirlwind of track and field provincials , flag football provincials (which they won and qualified for nationals!), said goodbye to middle school and somehow I’m only getting better each day at being a mama to three!  Every day is guaranteed to have an insane moment or two, or three or all day!  But overall, I have to say, I think I’m doing pretty good.  

The day my freezer meals ran out. WAAAAH!  I grieved.  It was a dark day of mourning, but somehow I’ve managed to make dinner amongst juggling fussy babies and driving Nolan to or from whatever he may be doing!  But guess what?  I’m doing it and it’s friggin hard but I’m doing it and I’m very proud of myself!

Bash is 8 weeks now and in somewhat of a routine.  He has not been an easy baby but in the past couple weeks I’ve managed to get him to almost sleep through the night and finally nap in his bassinet which feels like one more victory point for me.  He is growing in leaps and bounds and at this rate, he’s going to be my chubbiest baby!  And this boy is smiling and getting so cute that I can hardly handle it!  Did I mention he’s a total mama’s boy?!  Yippee!

Wylder is the best!  He is 18 months in a few short days and I think he just gets more fun every day!  He is a comedian and a little crazy and super sweet…  He is talking so much but nothing sounds right yet.  Like when he yells “GO!” when we chase him, but he actually is yelling “DIE”!!  Guys…it’s ‘GO’, not ‘DIE’…we promise!  We are all just loving this stage so much, it’s seriously so much fun!

Nolan is also the best.  I could write a novel on that boy.  He is amazing!  I’ll need a whole blog post devoted to what he’s been up to and one day I will get to that.  In the meantime, I’ll just note that these boys of mine are the bomb.  They are my whole life and I honestly wouldn’t be half of who I am without them!

Oh ya.  Toms good!

I’m a tired lady.  I struggled with depression after I had Wylder and was so scared of facing that again and maybe I still will, but so far I’m feeling as good as I can be.  Aside from real exhaustion, I feel pretty much 100% recovered from my surgery which is such a different story from the last one.   I’m getting out, seeing friends and so far this postpartum season has been so much better than anticipated.  

Here are a few pictures from our forced family photo shoot that I insisted was a good idea but ended up being incredibly awkward.  Thankfully we got a few good shots and only this first one is a little odd!

3 Weeks Postpartum and Still Standing

The first week postpartum was great.  I can’t believe how much faster I’m healing from my c-section this time. We had help lined up that first week which was so wonderful.  I’m so missing my mother doing my laundry and cooking me food and entertaining Wylder… The second week was challenging.  Day 9 arrived and I was officially on my own with two babies.  Tom is swamped at work so couldn’t exactly take time off, so I had to brave the days by myself.  It has taken a lot to build up the strength to face each day with these two babies and I know I have to get some systems in place because this is my life now.  Currently, it is a juggling act to say the least.  Bash has no schedule. Wylder is still transitioning from 2 to 1 naps a day.  I’m healing from major abdominal surgery. But I live to tell you all about it, so I get a point! 

I’m exhausted.  Every day I think I am a little more tired than the day before. Wylder is becoming slight trouble, and rightfully so given his age and the fact that he now has to share me with Bash.  He spilled my full coffee one morning as my hands were both tied up with Bash. I yelled “NOOOOOOOOOO”, as he slowly took one finger and while looking at me with his devilish grin, ever so gently tipped the cup over.  The cup fell over and coffee spilled everywhere and the boy just walked away as if nothing happened.  He didn’t even react!  We refer to him as Hurricane Wylder because every day he empties every drawer in our bathroom, the kitchen cupboards, and if given the opportunity, he loves to throw laundry all over any room!  He is taking full advantage of me being tied down feeding Bash by exploring our kitchen to the fullest and recently emptied an entire bag of BCAA’s on the kitchen floor and let me tell you, he is stealth.  I had no idea this even occurred for an hour or so after he did it!  He really is a sweetheart, but extremely busy.  I recently introduced him to Netflix and he has become more manageable for the 10 minutes he will sit and watch his shows. I’m finally ready to start going for walks and getting out of the house which I believe will be perfect for all of us and most importantly, my sanity!


I’ve been eating a healing soup recipe I found while researching for my postpartum care in the hopes that it cancels out all the non-healing foods I’ve been eating.  The chocolate…why can’t I stop eating it!  I always eat my soup out of my Multipower mug in support of Tom’s work like the good wife I am! The recipe is so delicious, I’ll need to share!


The worst part of every day, aside from the times when both babies are crying and need me at the same time, or when I’m waking up for night feeds and the baby poops so I have to change a diaper when I’m dog tired then he is super awake which means I am too until he falls back asleep, or when Wylder refuses to walk and he demands I carry him while I’m holding Bash… Sorry, got a little side tracked there. No, it’s when nap time ends because that means I’m full time mothering constantly between the two babies until I get Wylder relief which happens when the husband walks in the door after work or the rare day Nolan isn’t busy with sports.  Nolan is so helpful, he is a baby whisperer.  Seriously, he’s amazing with newborns!

During nap time, somehow by the grace of God, these two babies both have had a decently long afternoon nap for me this week only, which gives me an opportunity to nap myself or shower. Usually I can only choose one so I’ll alternate days (the secrets out, I don’t shower  everyday).  Rarely I’ve gotten both or neither depending if these dudes want to do me a favour or not and SLEEP. If someone is not sleeping, it’s probably the extra small one (the boys are officially referred to by size; Nolan is the big one, Wylder is the small one, and Bash is our extra small one). Bash is turning on us. Our sweet darling angel baby found his lungs and he’s not afraid to use them!  Wylder is a total mimicker. So anytime the baby makes noises, like a cry, Wylder thinks he needs to scream! So much screaming, not so cute!  

I unfortunately don’t have a photographer living in my house to help me take beautiful pictures, but this is me on a day that I got to shower and do my hair and make up. I even drew on some eyebrows which means it must’ve been a good day! I generally smell great until Bash spits up on me an hour later!  Never a dull moment.  


Thankfully every day is a different day. Some have been so good and easy and others have been trying. After trying so long to get pregnant with Wylder and walking the road of fertility treatments, I can honestly say that even on the craziest day or when I’m so tired, my life has never felt so full. I feel like Bastian has always been here and it just feels so right. I love this chaotic life with a baby, toddler and teenager so much. My days are so long right now, I’m always tired, and I can hardly wait until Tom walks in the door each night for sweet relief, but I’m sure I smile more in one day than I have in a long time.  I’m also feeling pretty darn proud of myself for having a c-section and managing these days on my own.  That being said, I love love love the visits from friends.  Some of which have been so amazing and helpful (and the treats are equally as amazing as you are), you have no idea what that has done for my heart right now. All in all, I’ve exceeded my own expectations and I haven’t even cried yet!  That is winning.  

Baby Bash

I can’t believe it’s been 10 days of life with our darling Bastian Henry!  This baby has been such a blessing.  He loves to snuggle, he loves his mama and totally knows who I am which feels amazing!  He’s only waking 1-2 times in the night, he started feeding immediately and eats consistently every 3-4 hours and he basically came out with his perfect routine.  I think we will keep him!  


The week leading up to my c-section was my most miserable week of pregnancy.  Not only was I incredibly uncomfortable, but I had such painful false labor 3 nights which brought me to my surgery date completely exhausted.  I had many moments thinking I’d never make it to the big day during that long week.  

On May 12, Tom escorted me to the hospital at 6am to get all checked in for the c-section. Everything was going smoothly.  Due to my placenta previa earlier in pregnancy, they had done extra prep with blood transfusions just in case and as I was sitting there, moments before going into the OR, there was a big kerfuffle in the hallway and we overheard the word ‘EMERGENCY’ come out of my OB’s mouth.  We unfortunately got bumped out of surgery and were told that we could either rebook the c-section for Tuesday…and I’m sitting there all hooked up to my IV, in my gown and Tom in his scrubs.  Or we could wait around that day on standby for a surgery time with no guarantee that it would happen.  My anxiety was all over the map, but we decided to wait it out and hope they’d be able to deliver the baby the same day.  

We went home for a bit then came back in to talk about the game plan with my OB. They managed to book us in the afternoon and as soon as we got the call, it was only a matter of minutes until we were in the OR and things were moving along.  


I couldn’t believe the difference between my emergency c-section and the planned one.  It was so much more peaceful.  Bastian came out perfectly healthy weighing 7lbs 14oz, which was such a blessing for Tom and I after our experience with Wylder’s birth.  My placenta delivered fine.  They did find a lot of scar tissue and my uterus had fused to my abdomen wall, but they did their best to remove as much scar tissue as possible.  We even had a nice stay in the hospital which I can’t say we had with Wylder.  Then to make everything better, we got discharged super early which made me one very happy mama!  


This baby boy is a dream.  He is so easy and so sweet.  He snuggles and sleeps and eats and I can’t get enough of him!  Wylder calls him his ‘baba’ and he’s starting to really like his cute baby brother and even gives him mini snuggles.  Nolan is a sucker for a newborn whether he would admit it or not, he can’t resist the little guy! 

My mom and step dad were here to help the first week and are now gone.  I can’t remember the last time I was so sad to say goodbye to my mom.  This time was different.  I’m about to have to face life with a 16 month old and a newborn while driving my teenager to and from everything.  Let’s not talk about how many work trips Tom has coming up yet this year, but I’m working on channeling my inner 18 year old self.  I was such a brave girl when I became a mom for the first time.  I wasn’t afraid of anything and I look back at who I was then and what I did and I’m so proud of that Kelsey.  I sure hope I can find the same strength in this new season of life.  This time I’m going to take care of myself in this postpartum stage. I rushed it with Wylder in many areas while I was struggling in the postpartum stage and should’ve had more boundaries which I learned the hard way and managed to become emotionally depleted very quickly.  Postpartum may just be the hardest season for me in motherhood, so I’m trying to be very mindful and remembering to be gracious to myself when I need it most. 

This is an absolutely wonderful time in my life and the most tiring.  My heart has never felt so full and I absolutely love having my three boys.  Each boy has managed to capture my heart in ways I could never express in words.  I’m so excited to watch these little ones grow and become best friends and look up to their big big brother.  All of this makes my heart want to explode!  

OMG. 3 Sleeps till Babe #3

I just tried having a bath with my shirt on only I didn’t realize it was on until I was submerged.   I gotta get this kid out of me!  

Naturally, like any woman close to giving birth, I took on a DIY project for my little boys.  I couldn’t resist when I can across these adorable crib houses and since I’m planning to keep Wylder in a crib for a while yet, I obviously needed to make two!  The project took waaay longer than necessary because I can only work on it during naps.  Some days Wylder was gracious enough to give me 2 hours, others I was lucky to have one.  Here’s my adorable finished project.  The boys have matching cribs so these will eventually be side by side in their room once we move this new guy out of our room!  I’m waiting for my call to be featured in Architectural Digest…

3 days now until I’m going under knife and I’m starting to freak out a little bit.  I lie.  I started freaking out a week ago and my amazingly patient husband talks me off a ledge every night before we go to bed!  I’m already an anxious person and this past week it occurred to me that if I had the option for a natural delivery, I don’t like that either.  Basically I’m not interested in any of my options to get this baby out, but soon enough it’ll be here and gone and we will get to meet this young gentleman that can’t seem to stop beating me up from the inside.  Seriously, this boy might be a wild one or one day join the circus.  I swear he’s performing Cirque de Soléi several times a day and it’s not so cute at this stage in the game!

This pregnancy has been so hard on me.  Such a roller coaster ride.  It’s crazy to think that had the complete placenta previa never resolved, our baby boy would’ve been here 3 weeks ago already and who knows how everything would’ve turned out regarding my health and recovery or how much time he may have needed in the NICU.  There were so many points where all I wanted to do was fast forward to the end and have it all behind me after leaving so many doctor appointments in tears.  I’m incredibly grateful I’ve had these last 8 weeks to enjoy the last moments of carrying a child.  Not feeling worried that each kick might make me bleed and we’d have to run to the hospital and I’d either have a very premature baby or be kept there on bed rest.  I’ve gotten to enjoy my last moments with Wylder being my baby and been able to hold him, rock him when he wakes in the middle of the night, take him to the park and meet friends for coffee and walks!  It’s been refreshing feeling like I was living life again.  

So here we are…on the final countdown.  Lots of false labor already and I’m open to the idea of having an emergency c-section earlier this week to get it out of the way!  Why not!  Can you believe I couldn’t charm the anesthesiologist into giving me ‘calming aides’ prior to my surgery?  So now I just have to be brave!  I’m ready to bid farewell to the shooting nerve pain this babe sends shooting down my legs, back and ‘unmentionables’ several times a day.  Plus, I’m so ready for another little man to come into my life and for the craziness to ensue!  I’m also prepared to bawl my eyes out the moment Wylder and Nolan meet their new baby bro.  Until then, I’ll continue to make my husband crazy so please pray for him.  

Go Away Third Trimester

I’ve officially hit the point where I’m over being pregnant.  When we were in Maui, both Tom and I kept talking about how we were quite happy for this baby to take his sweet time and in no rush for D-Day to arrive.  Then shit hit the fan with my complete placenta previa, which brought on so many strong emotions, scary unknowns and stress I never could have imagined facing while being pregnant.  It totally changed this entire pregnancy.  Thankfully the third trimester has been a lot less stressful since the placenta moved and has continued to stay up nice and high. Unfortunately all that stress has made this feel like the world’s longest pregnancy!  I’m progressively growing larger by the day and it’s a struggle squeezing into my clothes and please don’t ask me to bend over to pick something up!  I’m plagued with fatigue, I’m so sick of doctors appointments and I’m just so ready to be on the other side!  

This little guy is ready too!  I swear he is trying to get out early.  He somehow pushes with all his might in three different directions at the same time, conveniently when I’m trying to sleep.  I’m sure he is just trying to find the emergency exit because I’m literally being stretched from the inside out!  He is hands down my most active baby in the womb, which is why Tom is convinced he’ll be a crazy baby…but I’m sure he will be perfect and sleep and eat well and rarely cry, [exactly how I imagined Wylder before he was born, and I might’ve been wrong].  But when he does cry, it’ll be so sweet and quiet, it won’t bother us one tiny bit.  

Do we have a name picked out?  The conversation that goes nowhere just like when we were trying to decide on a name for Wylder.  Why is it so hard to name a child?  It’s only with them and will define them for the rest of their lives…  We have a million girls names but basically both have only one idea each for boys names.  I think I’m going to win again.  I have Nolan’s vote!  Actually, both names are Toms suggestions so either way he wins!  Tom likes the idea of tying in a family name for sentimental value so we are still doing family research of our late grandpa’s and great grandpa’s to hopefully give more options.  Irvin?  No.  Heinz?  No offence Dad, but no.  Werner?  Again, sorry Dad.  Roy?  I loved my grandpa Roy like crazy but it just doesn’t hit me for a baby name.  Henry could work, but is it too trendy right now?  Will he be going to school with 25 Henry’s?  Daniel and William just don’t quite do it for me plus it’s funny how a name can be connected to that one annoying kid from elementary school…or your adult life!

Just over 3 weeks to go.  I’m just working on getting everything checked off of my to-do list.  Eating whatever I want while I can justify it.  Oh and milking having Tom and Nolan giving me extra help…I have approximately 5-6 weeks before this gets old.  I can say I finally feel ready to meet this boy and I surprisingly have peace about having another c-section which is a miracle in itself!  In the meantime, if you need me, I’ll just be counting down the days until I can fit into my clothes again.  

Baby Boy #3

I’m about to share something with the world that only a small percentage of people will be able to understand, let alone be able to relate to me right now.  I’ve never felt sorry for myself as I constantly seem to be faced with ‘big’ life battles because I know in the end, it has and does shape me as a person, but a break from hardship for more than a year would be so wonderful.  


This ‘surprise miracle’ pregnancy had me in shock until I was around 4 months pregnant and started to feel him kick.  At that time, I began dreaming about how special bringing home yet another beautiful baby boy will be for us.  I began loving the idea of being pregnant again.  At 22 weeks I had my routine ultrasound where we were told that baby is absolutely perfect, but I was diagnosed with complete placenta previa.  [This means that my placenta is completely covering and touching my cervix.  I am at risk for bleeding every day until I deliver, which is a major risk to my health.  The risk for baby is a premature birth which comes with several long term effects.  If I do start bleeding, I’ll be rushed to the hospital and potentially kept there until it’s safe to deliver, but if the bleeding is too severe, they would need to do an emergency c-section].  

I was told to stop exercising, lifting heavy things, and to ‘take it easy’.  No travel,   limited standing, no lifting heavy grocery bags or large loads of laundry.  The OB said that due to the risk of me bleeding too much during my c-section , she will need to do it at 36 weeks.  I felt sad and scared.  This led me to the wonderful world of Google where I learned too much.  Not only am I already high risk but my placenta is anterior, therefore sitting on my previous c-section scar.  This gives me a 25% chance of it fusing to my scar tissue.  The placenta looks for a blood source and then attaches and can grow into the scar tissue and uterus (even worse it can invade ones bladder, ovaries, bowel but this is a very extreme case).  This is called Accreta.  Now my life is actually at risk because this condition can cause severe hemorrhaging at birth, and in many cases they don’t know you have accreta until they are in there, which is now my situation.  If it’s bad enough, I’ll have a hysterectomy right then and there so I’m preparing my heart for the possibility that this will be our last baby.  

I was sent for an MRI to see if they could see accreta.  Unfortunately my results were inconclusive.  It took weeks to finally see my OB.  I had seen two doctors before but she gave me the nitty gritty details that in turn flooded me with fear due to the many many unknowns that come along with complete placenta previa.  I’m being watched closely.  Due to the risk of them discovering accreta, I’ll now be delivering at 35 weeks so I am praying baby boy is a big strong beef cake like Wylder was so we can hopefully avoid a long nicu stay if any at all. I’ll have an extra large surgical team in the room.  Very likely, I’ll require blood transfusions which will be ready and waiting.  If they can’t control the bleeding I will spend some time in ICU…even the thought of this brings me to tears.  Although, maybe this is best case scenario, to make it to my date with no bleeds and have a team fully prepped and ready to do everything they can for my life and baby’s.  My doctor said “we prepare for the worst so we can expect the best”.

I’ve only shared this with a very small group of people.  And truthfully, I’m not sure anyone can really understand the severity of the situation or know the fear I’ve had ever since I found out.  There are so many unknowns that can happen from now until even after he is born. I feel scared to walk too long in the grocery store or move too fast playing with Wylder.  The joy of my pregnancy feels like it was stolen from me and I can’t wait for this all to be behind us.  

I’ve been pretty strong with a few big cries here and there.  Although, writing this has me in a puddle of my own tears that won’t seem to stop.  I’m realizing just how blessed I’ve been to have TWO worry free pregnancies and perfectly healthy boys.  I think about how funny it is that we wanted a baby so badly, and here are given this gift and what I want more than ever is to be at the end because I feel like a ticking time bomb hoping nothing will go wrong.  

Tom happens to be in Khazakstan for work at the moment.  It’s extra scary not having him here right now because I do feel like I need him more than ever.  He’ll be going away again shortly after he gets home but thankfully my mom and step-dad are coming to help which I’m so looking forward to!  Having a travelling husband is hard when life is smooth sailing, but when it’s not, my heart misses that man 10,000 times more than usual.  

My eye is on the prize.  Baby will be here in less than 8 weeks.  I have another ultrasound in a couple weeks which will give us an idea of how big baby is and possibly if my placenta has moved.  This would be amazing news and a total miracle which would also allow us to let this baby cook a little longer but my doctor said the chances are very low!  As most of you may know, this isn’t our first big struggle.  I’m trying to stay positive and focus on the good that is in front of me and take it all one day at a time. This too shall pass and I’m dreaming of this summer…holding this baby on a hot summers day with my husband by my side as we sip on a crisp white wine and watch Nolan teach Wylder how to throw a football!

Prayer and the support of loved ones is my solace right now.  My husband is the best person I ever could have chosen as a partner to walk through life with.  All of our struggles have only shown the depth of love we have for each other. He is a huge reason I laugh when things are tough!  His love for me is strength and I’m so thankful for him and my boys, I am truly blessed.  

I’m back…

After an unintentional several month long hiatus from one of the things I love most…[blogging]…I’m back.

Life has been busy as most of you may know.  Our first year with Wylder in our lives has been crazy.  Tom has been so busy at work and travelling, which I don’t love but the mans gotta make the paper (what he tells me).  Juggling nap times around school pick ups, track & field, basketball & football games and practices has been a challenge.  Trying to keep my house clean, cook healthy(ish) meals for the family, still working part time and now, pregnant and chasing a one year old around the house.  Me?  Tired?  Uh, YEAH.

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It’s been good though.  Actually it’s been great!  Wylder has brought our family so close.  I swear we all smile and laugh more than ever with this little guy around.  And now, only 8 weeks away, we will be welcoming yet another little man into our world!  I still can’t even believe it, regardless of the rapidly increasing belly expansion and constant baby kicks, I sometimes still feel like it’s make belief.

For all the people out there assuming we planned this baby and pursued fertility treatments to get here…boy are you are wrong!  That was our intent.  We expected to go down the same hard road to have another baby as we did with Wylder and planned to start treatments this June, but God had other plans for us!

I’m still not sure what prompted me to actually do a test but one day I picked up 3 from the dollar store while Tom was out of town.  We were going to Vegas a couple weeks later for our first trip away since Wylder was born, so I guess it wouldn’t hurt to check.  I forgot about the tests, treated myself to some fine red wine.  That week, I realized I had achieved my pre-baby weight and was bragging to my girlfriend.  In retrospect, I was losing my mind.  I showed up at the wrong schools to watch Nolan’s football games a couple times, could never find my keys and I also got my days and times wrong for appointments which I’ve never done [but continue to do still, baby brain is a thing!].  Two days later I did the test.  A FREAKING POSITIVE TEST!   I couldn’t believe my eyes.  I think I stopped breathing and broke into a cold sweat as my heart started racing…and I texted Tom… “OMG!  I think I’m pregnant.  How did this even happen?!”  He didn’t believe me.  After all three positive tests and even a trip to the doctor for another positive test, he still didn’t believe me!  I didn’t believe me!  We weren’t trying and having a new baby while we already have a baby wasn’t exactly on our bucket list!  Needless to say, this baby is a giant surprise and blessing and we are all looking forward to meeting him!  That being said, I’d be lying if I said  I’m not nervous to have a baby and a 15 month old.  I’ve basically been pregnant for over 2 years…which is just how I feel so I’m really looking forward to feeling like myself again.

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Oh, you’re wondering how Nolan took the news?  Right.  We didn’t tell him straight away, but when we did, this was his response:

“WHAT WERE YOU GUYS THINKING?  YOU LIED TO ME!  YOU SAID YOU WOULDNT HAVE ANOTHER BABY RIGHT AWAY!  WHO’S GOING TO DRIVE ME EVERYWHERE?!  This is going to be so crazy for you guys…”

And flashback to me telling people I was pregnant in high school…  He took the news really well.  Ha!  It’s going to be great.  Nolan is the best big brother.  He is such a big help to me and is always willing to watch the baby or calm him down when I’m too exhausted to do it.  Him and Wylder absolutely adore each other, so I’m sure this new baby boy will capture Nolan’s heart the same way that Wylder has.

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So there you have it.  This next year will be an adventure.  I know I’ll just do it and Nolan is right, it is going to be very crazy.  So if you see me out and I look disheveled and run down, just love me and give me all your cheater tips to help me look pretty and pretend I have my crap together, because we all know how easy it will be to find time to shower…

Thanks in advance.

xo.